Like any life style there are down sides, but I have learned to accept them and have become very fond of never losing an argument with myself, and who doesn't love having total control over the remote?
I'm not by any means a selfless person, I have very few responsibilities outside of work, no children to tend to, nothing to tie me down, etc... People have often told me that I should get a pet, maybe a dog or a cat, to which I have always given a firm, "No thanks." I'm barely responsible for myself people, why on earth would anyone want to subject my ineptitude's upon some hapless creature?
Which is why I find myself in the most unlikely of situations, and what my mother has laughingly referred to as a very odd midlife crisis.
Three months ago, I was minding my own business, and coming home late one night with groceries. It was raining steadily and I had little to no light when I arrived at my front door. In my haste to get the groceries inside I'd left the door ajar while I went for the last few bags.
With groceries put away, and the rain outside falling at a steady tempo, I eventually fell asleep.
In the morning I woke to a cat providing me salutations, "Hello...I would like out now...thank you very much."
"What the, who the, how the heck did you get in here?!" I asked with a measure of confusion while checking the doors...both locked.
To which the cat, in a way that only cats seems to be able to inflect - said, "I hardly think that matters, the point of fact is that I want out. Now please."
I figured at that point that it must have slipped inside during the grocery episode, in an effort to escape the weather.
Seeing nothing else in my very tiny studio apartment amiss, I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door. The cat made it's exit without so much as a thanks, typical cat.
I took a shower, dressed and had my allotted coffee for the day. With fifteen minutes left before I needed to go, I spotted my closet door open. Did I leave that open all night? Did the cat sleep in there? Did it do anything else in there? Oh shit...
I spent the next ten minutes looking around in there, but much to my relief, found noting.
So I went to work, and when I got back home, I found a very familiar looking cat at my door. "Took you long enough, do you mind opening the door now?"
"Look cat, I don't mind the occasional visit and all, but it's not raining and I'm not exactly running a boarding house here...so.." I tried opening the door to get inside while blocking it's entry with my shoe...
With catlike agility it slipped past with hardly an effort, and headed straight for the closed closet door. Stopping and then looking back with catlike annoyance, "Did you close this? What the heck is it with you people and doors, anyway?"
Awe shit..., I walked over, opened the door and listened while SHE slipped inside. Sure enough, her entrance was soon answered by multiple kitten like sounds. That weekend, I confirmed the arrival of three very tiny, and very uninvited guests.
I was all prepared to put them in a box with a nice warm towel and place them in a nice dry nook of the properties car port. The mother would find them, and my involvement would be over.
Here's the problem, I didn't do that, instead I found myself overwhelmed with a measure of selflessness I'd never known. The instant I pulled the first of them out, Cali - I knew that I wasn't going to put them out, and abandon them to all the perils of a feral cats life. My normal self said, "Do you have any idea the nightmare in money and loss of sleep this is going to cost you?"
Deranged self said, "Yes, and even still I find that I cannot do otherwise. These three were delivered to me by fate, and I would hardly be a proper host if I kicked them to the curb."
To which self replied, "Your an idiot."
So I'd like to introduce you all to Cali (Calico), Tosh (Tuxedo), and Georgina (Tortoise) going vogue.